American Adventures | Page 9

restaurant near the old Holliday Street Theater, but
neither the restaurant nor the theater exists to-day. It is sometimes
stated that Key was himself a prisoner, during the bombardment, on a
British warship. That is a mistake.
By a curious coincidence, only a few minutes after my pamphlet had
reminded me of the origin of "The Star-Spangled Banner" here in
Baltimore, I heard the air played under circumstances very different
from any which could have been anticipated by the author of the poem,
or the composer who set it to music.
The entertainment at the Academy that night was supplied by an
elaborate "show" of the burlesque variety known as "The Follies," and
it so happened that in the course of this hodgepodge of color, comedy,
scenery, song, and female anatomy, there was presented a "number" in
which actors, garbed and frescoed with intent to resemble rulers of
various lands, marched successively to the front of the stage, preceded
in each instance by a small but carefully selected guard wearing the
full-dress-uniform of Broadway Amazons. This uniform consists
principally of tights and high-heeled slippers, the different nations
being indicated, usually, by means of color combinations and various
types of soldiers' hats. No arms are presented save those provided by
nature.

The King of Italy, the Emperor of Austria, the Czar, the Mikado, the
British Monarch, the President of France, the King of the Belgians, the
Kaiser (for the United States had not then entered the war), and, I think,
some others, put in an appearance, each accompanied by his Paphian
escort, his standard, and the appropriate national air. Apprehending that
this symbolic travesty must, almost inevitably, end in a grand orgy of
Yankee-Doodleism, I was impelled to flee the place before the thing
should happen. Yet a horrid fascination held me there to watch the
working up of "patriotic" sentiment by the old, cheap, stage tricks.
Presently, of course, the supreme moment came. When all the
potentates had taken their positions, right and left, with their
silk-limbed soldiery in double ranks behind them, there came into view
upstage a squad of little white-clad female naval officers, each,
according to my recollection, carrying the Stars and Stripes. As these
marched forward and deployed as skirmishers before the footlights, the
orchestra struck up "The Star-Spangled Banner," fortissimo, and with a
liberal sounding of the brasses. Upon this appeared at the back a
counterfeit President of the United States, guarded on either side by a
female militia--or were they perhaps secret-service agents?--in striking
uniforms consisting of pink fleshings partially draped with thin black
lace.
As this incongruous parade proceeded to the footlights, American flags
came into evidence, and, though I forget whether or not Columbia
appeared, I recollect that a beautiful young woman, habited in what
appeared to be a light pink union suit of unexceptionable cut and
material, appeared above the head of the pseudo-chief executive,
suspended at the end of a wire. Never having heard that it was White
House etiquette to hang young ladies on wires above the presidential
head, I consulted my program and thereby learned that this young lady
represented that species of poultry so popular always with the late
Secretary of State, Mr. Bryan, and so popular also at one time with the
President himself: namely, the Dove of Peace.
The applause was thunderous. At the sound of "The Star-Spangled
Banner" a few members of the audience arose to their feet; others soon

followed--some of them apparently with reluctance--until at last the
entire house had risen. Meanwhile the members of the company lined
up before the footlights: the mock president smirking at the center, the
half-clad girls posing, the pink young lady dangling above, the band
blaring, the Stars and Stripes awave. It was a scene, in all, about as
conducive to genuine or creditable national pride as would be the scene
of a debauch in some fabulous harem.
The difference between stupidity and satire lies, not infrequently, in the
intent with which a thing is done. Presented without essential change
upon the stage of a music hall in some foreign land, the scene just
described would, at that time, when we were playing a timid part
amongst the nations, have been accepted, not as a glorification of the
United States, but as having a precisely opposite significance. It would
have been taken for burlesque; burlesque upon our country, our
President, our national spirit, our peace policy, our army, and perhaps
also upon our women--and insulting burlesque at that.
Some years since, it was found necessary to pass a law prohibiting the
use of the flag for advertising purposes. This law should be amended to
protect it also from the even more sordid and vulgarizing associations
to which it is not infrequently submitted on the American
musical-comedy stage.
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