A Woman Tenderfoot | Page 5

leaves one helpless in this case as in many others.
Besides being unable to mount and dismount without assistance it is

very difficult to get side-saddle broken horses, and it usually means a
horse so broken in health and spirits that he does not care what is being
strapped on his back and dangling on one side of him only. And to be
on such an animal means that you are on the worst mount of the outfit,
and I am sure that it requires little imagination on any one's part to
know therein lies misery. Oh! the weariness of being the weakest of the
party and the worst mounted--to be always at the tail end of the line,
never to be able to keep up with the saddle horses when they start off
for a canter, to expend your stock of vitality, which you should husband
for larger matters, in urging your beast by voice and quirt to further
exertion! Never place yourself in such a position. The former you
cannot help, but you can lessen it by making use of such aids to greater
independence as wearing short skirts and riding astride, and having at
least as good a horse as there is in the outfit. Then you will get the
pleasure from your outing that you have the right to expect--that is, if
you adhere to one other bit of advice, or rather two.
The first is: See that for your camping trip is provided a man cook.
I wish that I could put a charm over the next few words so that only the
woman reader could understand, but as I cannot I must repeat boldly:
Dear woman who goes hunting with her husband, be sure that you have
it understood that you do no cooking, or dishwashing. I think that the
reason women so often dislike camping out is because the only really
disagreeable part of it is left to them as a matter of course. Cooking out
of doors at best is trying, and certainly you cannot be care free,
camp-life's greatest charm, when you have on your mind the boiling of
prunes and beans, or when tears are starting from your smoke-inflamed
eyes as you broil the elk steak for dinner. No, indeed! See that your
guide or your horse wrangler knows how to cook, and expects to do it.
He is used to it, and, anyway, is paid for it. He is earning his living, you
are taking a vacation.
Now for the second advice, which is a codicil to the above: In return for
not having to potter with the food and tinware, never complain about it.
Eat everything that is set before you, shut your eyes to possible dirt, or,
if you cannot, leave the particular horror in question untouched, but
without comment. Perhaps in desperation you may assume the role of
cook yourself. Oh, foolish woman, if you do, you only exchange your
woes for worse ones.

If you provide yourself with the following articles and insist upon
having them reserved for you, and then let the cook furnish everything
else, you will be all right:--
An aluminum plate made double for hot water. This is a very little
trouble to fill, and insures a comfortable meal; otherwise, your meat
and vegetables will be cold before you can eat them, and the gravy will
have a thin coating of ice on it. It is always cold night and morning in
the mountains. And if you do not need the plate heated you do not have
to fill it; that's all. I am sure my hot-water plate often saved me from
indigestion and made my meals things to enjoy instead of to endure.
Two cups and saucers of white enamel ware. They always look clean
and do not break.
_One silver-plated knife and fork and two teaspoons_.
One folding camp chair.
N.B.--Provide your husband or brother or sister precisely the same; no
more, no less.
Japanese napkins, enough to provide two a day for the party.
Two white enamel vegetable dishes.
One folding camp table.
_One candle lamp, with enough candles_. Then leave all the rest of the
cooking outfit to your cook and trust in Providence. (If you do not
approve of Providence, a full aluminum cooking outfit can be bought
so that one pot or pan nests in the other, the whole very complete,
compact and light.)
Come what may, you have your own particular clean hot plate, cup and
saucer, knife, fork, spoon and napkin, with a table to eat from and a
chair to sit on and a lamp to see by, if you are eating after dark--which
often happens--and nothing else matters, but food.

If you want to be canny you will have somewhere in your own pack