A Very Pleasaunt Fruitful Diologe Called the Epicure | Page 9

stomackes beganne too waxe an hungred, they maruayled what this shuld meane, so soone to be an hungred and a thirste, after so sumptuous a feast: at the last the matter was openly knowen and laught at. _Spu._ Not without a cause, it had been muche better for thê too haue satisfied their stomackes at their owne ch?bers with a messe of potage, thê too be fed so delitiousli with vain illusi?s. _H._ And as I th?k ye c?mune sort of men ar muche more too bee laught at, whiche in steede of Godlye thynges, ||chose vaine and transitory shadowes, and reioyce excedyngly in suche folishe phansies that turne not afterwarde in too a laughter, but into euerlasting lamentation and sorow. Spudeus The more nerelier I note your saiynges, the better I like thê. _Hedo._ Go too, let vs graunt for a tyme these thynges too bee called pleasaunt, that in very dede ar not. Would yow saye that meeth were swete: whiche had more Aloes myngled with it, then honye? _Spud._ I woulde not so say and if there were but the third part of an ounce of Aloes mixt with it. _Hedo._ Or els, would you wishe to bee scabbed because you haue some pleasure too scratch? _Spud._ Noo, if I wer ||D.i|| in my right mynd. _HED._ Then weigh with your self how great peyne is intermyngled wyth these false and wrongly named pleasures, that vnshamefast loue filthie desire, much eatyng and drinking bring vs vnto: I doo omitte now that, which is principall grudge of c?science, enemitie betwixt God and m?, and expectation of euerlastyng punishêment. What kynd of pleasure, I pray you is ther in these thinges, that dooeth not bryng with it a greate heape of outeward euilles? _SPV._ What bee thei? _HEDO._ We ought to let passe and forbeare in this place auarice, ambition, wrath, pryde enuy, whiche of their selues bee heuy and sorowful euylles and || let vs conferre and compare all those thynges together, that haue the name of some chief and special pleasure: wher as the agew the hedache, the swelling of the belly, dulnes of witte, infamy, hurt of memory, vomyting, decaye of stomacke, tremblyng of the body succede of ouer muche drynking: thynke you, that the Epicure would haue estemed any suche lyke pleasure as thys, c?uenient and wourthy desire? _SPV._ He woulde saye it wer vtterly too bee refused. _HEDONi._ Wheras young men also with hauntynge of whores (as it is dayly seene) catche the newe leprosie, nowe otherwyse named Jobs agew, and some cal it the scabbes of Naples, throughe ||D.ii|| which desease they feele often ye most extreme and cruell paines of deathe euen in this lyfe, and cary about a bodye resemblyng very much some dead coarse or carryn, do you thynke that thei apply them selues vnto godlye pleasure. _SPVD._ Noo, for after thei haue been often familiar with their prety ones, then they must goo streighte too the barbours, that chaunceth continuallye vnto all whoremongers. _HED._ Now fayne that ther wer a lyke measure of pain and plesure, would ye then require too haue the toothache so longe as the pleasure of quaffing & whordome endured? _SPV._ Verely I had rather w?t them booth, for ther is no commoditie nor || vantage to bye pleasure with payn but only to cha?g one thing for another, but the best choise is nowe not too affectionate anye such leudnes, for _MAR. Tullius_ calleth that an inward greife & sorow. _He._ But now ye prouocation & entisemêt of vnleful plesure, besides that it is much lesse then the pain which it bringeth with it, it is also a thing of a very short time: but if the leprosye bee ones caught, it tourmêteth mê al their life daies very pitifully & oftentimes c?straineth them to wyshe for death before thei c? dye. _SP._ Such disciples as those then, the Epicure would not knowe. _HED._ For the most part pouertie, a very miserable and painfull burden, foloweth ||D.iii.|| lechery, of immoderate lust c?meth the palsie, tremblyng of ye senewes, bleardnes of eyes, and blyndnes, the leprosie and not these only, is it not a proper pece of worke (I pray you) to cha?g this short pleasure neyther honest nor yet godly, for so manye euylles far more greuouse and of muche longer continuance. _SP._ Although there shoulde no pain com of it, I esteme hym to bee a very fond occupier, which would cha?ge precious stones for glasse. _HE._ You meane that would lose the godly pleasures of the mynde, for the coloured pleasures of ye body. _SP._ That is my meanyng. _HE._ But nowe let vs come to a more perfecter supputation, neither the agewe || nor yet pouerty foloweth alwaies carnal pleasure, nor