A Domestic Problem | Page 8

instruct her in the
solid branches, in the accomplishments, in hygiene, in the principles
and practice of integrity, and then have given her particular instruction
in all matters connected with the training of children. And had she
developed a remarkable taste for painting, for modelling, or for music,
the State could better have afforded even sending her to Italy, than to
have taken care of those "two hundred criminals," besides "a large
number" of "idiots, imbeciles, drunkards, lunatics, and paupers."
CHAPTER IV.
THE OTHER PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION."--RUFFLES
VERSUS READING.--THE CULTIVATION OF THE FINGERS.
Let us leave for a while this matter of child-training, and consider the
other part of woman's mission,--namely, "making home happy." It
would seem that even for this the wife should be at least the equal of
her husband in culture, in order that the two may be in sympathy. When
a loving couple marry, they unite their interests, and it is in this union
of interests that they find happiness. We often hear from a wife or a
husband remarks like these: "I only half enjoyed it, because he (or she)
wasn't there;" "It will be no pleasure to me unless he (or she) is there
too;" "The company were charming, but still I felt lonesome there
without him (or her)." The phrase "half enjoy" gives the idea; for a
sympathetic couple are to such a degree one that a pleasure which
comes to either singly can only be half enjoyed, and even this half-joy
is lessened by the consciousness of what the other is losing. In a rather
sarcastic article, taken from an English magazine, occur a few

sentences which illustrate this point very well. The writer is describing
a honeymoon:--
"The real difficulty is to be entertaining. The one thirst of the young
bride is for amusement, and she has no idea of amusing herself. It is
diverting to see the spouse of this ideal creature wend his way to the
lending library, after a week of idealism, and the relief with which he
carries home a novel. How often, in expectation, has he framed to
himself imaginary talks,--talk brighter and wittier than that of the
friends he forsakes! But conversation is difficult in the case of a refined
creature who is as ignorant as a Hottentot. He begins with the new
Miltonic poem, and finds she has never looked into 'Paradise Lost.' He
plunges into the Reform Bill; but she knows nothing of politics, and
has never read a leading article in her life. Then she tries him, in her
turn, and floods him with the dead chat of the town and an ocean of
family tattle. He finds himself shut up for weeks with a creature who
takes an interest in nothing but Uncle Crosspatch's temper and the
scandal about Lady X. Little by little the absolute pettiness, the dense
dulness, of woman's life, breaks on the disenchanted devotee. His deity
is without occupation, without thought, without resources. He has a
faint faith in her finer sensibility, in her poetic nature: he fetches his
Tennyson from his carpet-bag, and wastes 'In Memoriam' on a critic
who pronounces it pretty!"
In cases of this kind, the half-joy is strikingly apparent. We see that a
husband possessing culture is likely to be lonesome among his poets
and his poetry, his works of reform, and his lofty ideas, unless--she is
there too.
If it be said that learned women are prone to think lightly of home
comforts and home duties, to despise physical labor, to look down on
the ignorant, let us hasten to reply that learning is not culture, and that
we want not learned mothers, but enlightened mothers, wisely educated
mothers. And let us steadfastly and perseveringly assert that
enlightenment and a wise education are essential to the
accomplishment of the mother's mission. When the housefather feels
the truth of this, then shall we see him bringing home every publication

he can lay his hands on which treats intelligently of mental, moral, or
physical training. Then shall we hear him saying to the house-mother,
"Cease, I pray you, this ever-lasting toil. Read, study, rest. With your
solemn responsibilities, it is madness thus to spend yourself, thus to
waste yourself." In his home shall the true essentials assume that
position which is theirs by right, and certain occupations connected
with that clamorous square inch of surface in the upper part of the
mouth shall receive only their due share of attention. For in one way or
another, either by lessening the work or by hiring workers, the mother
shall have her leisure.
And what will women, what will the house-mothers, do when they feel
this truth? Certainly not as they now do. Now it is their custom to fill in
every chink and crevice of