A Book of Nonsense | Page 3

to toads;

He paid several cousins to catch them by dozens,
That futile Old

Person of Rhodes.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the South,
Who had an immoderate mouth;

But in swallowing a dish that was quite full of Fish,
He was
choked, that Old Man of the South.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Melrose,
Who walked on the tips of his
toes;
But they said, "It ain't pleasant to see you at present, You stupid
Old Man of Melrose."
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the Dee,
Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea;

When he said, "I will scratch it!" they gave him a hatchet, Which
grieved that Old Man of the Dee.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Lucca,
Whose lovers completely forsook
her;
She ran up a tree, and said "Fiddle-de-dee!"
Which
embarrassed the people of Lucca.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Coblenz,
The length of whose legs was
immense;
He went with one prance from Turkey to France,
That
surprising Old Man of Coblenz.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Bohemia,
Whose daughter was christened
Euphemia;
But one day, to his grief, she married a thief,
Which
grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.

[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Corfu,
Who never knew what he should do;

So he rushed up and down, till the sun made him brown,
That
bewildered Old Man of Corfu.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,
Who studied the works of
Vitruvius;
When the flames burnt his book, to drinking he took,

That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Dundee,
Who frequented the top of a tree;

When disturbed by the Crows, he abruptly arose,
And exclaimed,
"I'll return to Dundee!"
[Illustration]
There was an Old Lady whose folly
Induced her to sit in a holly;

Whereon, by a thorn her dress being torn,
She quickly became
melancholy.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man on some rocks,
Who shut his Wife up in a box:

When she said, "Let me out," he exclaimed, "Without doubt You will
pass all your life in that box."
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Rheims,
Who was troubled with horrible
dreams;
So to keep him awake they fed him with cake,
Which
amused that Old Person of Rheims.
[Illustration]

There was an Old Man of Leghorn,
The smallest that ever was born;

But quickly snapt up he was once by a Puppy,
Who devoured that
Old Man of Leghorn.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man in a pew,
Whose waistcoat was spotted with
blue;
But he tore it in pieces, to give to his Nieces,
That cheerful
Old Man in a pew.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Jamaica,
Who suddenly married a Quaker;

But she cried out, "Oh, lack! I have married a black!"
Which
distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man who said, "How
Shall I flee from this horrible
Cow?
I will sit on this stile, and continue to smile,
Which may
soften the heart of that Cow."
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Troy,
Whom several large flies did
annoy;
Some she killed with a thump, some she drowned at the pump,
And some she took with her to Troy.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Hull,
Who was chased by a virulent Bull;

But she seized on a spade, and called out, "Who's afraid?" Which
distracted that virulent Bull.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Dutton,
Whose head was as small as a

button;
So to make it look big he purchased a wig,
And rapidly
rushed about Dutton.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
I perceive a young bird in
this bush!"
When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all; It is
four times as big as the bush!"
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Russia,
Who screamed so that no one
could hush her;
Her screams were extreme,--no one heard such a
scream
As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
Who swept the loud chords of a
lyre;
At the sound of each sweep she enraptured the deep,
And
enchanted the city of Tyre.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Bangor,
Whose face was distorted with
anger;
He tore off his boots, and subsisted on roots,
That borascible
Person of Bangor.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the East,
Who gave all his children a feast;

But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such,
That it killed
that Old Man of the East.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the Coast,
Who placidly sat on a post;

But when it was cold he relinquished his hold,
And called for some

hot buttered toast.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,
Who possessed a remarkably
fat Cur;
His gait and his waddle were held as a model
To all the fat
dogs in Kamschatka.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Gretna,
Who rushed down the crater of
Etna;
When they said, "Is it hot?" he replied, "No, it's not!" That
mendacious Old Person of Gretna.
[Illustration]
There