Wilt Thou Torchy

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Wilt Thou Torchy

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Title: Wilt Thou Torchy
Author: Sewell Ford
Release Date: December 17, 2005 [EBook #17333]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WILT
THOU TORCHY ***

Produced by Al Haines

[Frontispiece: "But the impudence of you, to do it right here!" she goes
on. "No one but you, Torchy, would have thought of that."]

WILT THOU TORCHY
BY
SEWELL FORD

AUTHOR OF
TORCHY, TORCHY, PRIVATE SEC, ETC.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY
FRANK SNAPP AND ARTHUR WILLIAM BROWN

NEW YORK
GROSSET & DUNLAP
PUBLISHERS

COPYRIGHT, 1915, 1916, 1917, BY
SEWELL FORD

COPYRIGHT, 1917, BY
EDWARD J. CLODE

CONTENTS

CHAPTER
I.
ON THE WAY WITH CYBIL II. TOWING CECIL TO A SMEAR III.
TORCHY HANDS OUT A SPILL IV. HOW HAM PASSED THE
BUCK V. WITH ELMER LEFT IN VI. A BALANCE FOR THE
BOSS VII. TORCHY FOLLOWS A HUNCH VIII. BREAKING ODD
WITH MYRA IX. REPORTING BLANK ON RUPERT X. WHEN
AUNTIE CRASHES IN XI. A JOLT FROM OLD HICKORY XII.
TORCHY HITS THE HIGH SEAS XIII. WHEN THE NAVY
HORNED IN XIV. AUNTIE TAKES A NIGHT OFF XV. PASSING
THE JOKE BUCK XVI. TORCHY TAKES A RUNNING JUMP XVII.
A LITTLE SPEED ON THE HOME STRETCH

ILLUSTRATIONS
"But the impudence of you, to do it right here!" she goes on. "No one
but you, Torchy, would have thought of that." . . . . . . Frontispiece "I
don't think I ever saw Auntie come so near beamin' before. She seems
right at home, fieldin' that line of chat. And Vee, too, is more or less
under the spell.
"For a second it looked like Gladys was goin' to freeze with horror; but
she just gives Valentina the once-over and indulges in a panicky little
giggle."
"Then she grips me around the neck and snuggles her head down on my
necktie--say, then I knew."

WILT THOU TORCHY
CHAPTER I
ON THE WAY WITH CECIL

It was a case of declarin' time out on the house. Uh-huh--a whole
afternoon. What's the use bein' a private sec. in good standin' unless
you can put one over on the time-clock now and then? Besides, I had a
social date; and, now Mr. Robert is back on the job so steady and is
gettin' so domestic in his habits, somebody's got to represent the
Corrugated Trust at these function things.
The event was the openin' of the Pill Box; you know, one of these
dinky little theaters where they do the capsule drama at two dollars a
seat. Not that I've been givin' my theatrical taste the highbrow treatment.
I'm still strong for the smokeless war play where the coisèd spy gets
his'n good and hard.
But I understand this one-act stuff is the thing to see just now, and I'd
picked up a hunch that Vee and Auntie had planned to be in on this
openin' until Auntie's sciatica developed so bad that they had to call it
off. So it's me makin' the timely play with a couple of seats in E center
and almost gettin' hugged for it. Even Auntie shoots me an approvin'
glance as she hands down a favorable decision.
So we sits through five acts of piffle that was mostly talky junk to me.
And, at that, I wa'n't sufferin' exactly; for when them actorines got too
weird, all I had to do was swing a bit in my seat and I had a side view
of a spiffy little white fur boa, with a pink ear-tip showin' under a ripple
of corn-colored hair, and a--well, I had something worth watching that's
all.
"Wasn't that last thing stupid?" says Vee.
"Didn't bother me any," says I. "Maybe I wa'n't followin' it real close."
"The idea!" says, she. "Why come to the theater, anyway?"
"Lean closer and I'll whisper," says I.
"Silly!" says she. "Here! Have a chocolate."
"Toss," says I, openin' my mouth.

Vee snickers. "Suppose I missed and hit the fat man beyond?"
"It's a sportin' chance he takes," says I. "Shoot."
I had to bump Fatty a bit makin' the catch; but when he sees what the
game is, he comes back with the friendly grin.
"There!" says Vee, tintin' up. "Now behave."
"Sorry," says I, "but I had to field my position, didn't I? Once more,
now."
"Certainly not," says Vee. "Besides, there goes