The Ladies Vase

Ladies' Vase, The

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Title: The Ladies' Vase Polite Manual for Young Ladies
Author: An American Lady

Release Date: October 4, 2005 [eBook #16802]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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Transcriber's Note: Printer's errors from the original book, such as inconsistent hyphenation and missing punctuation, have been retained in this version of the text. A list of these errors is located at the end of the text.

THE LADIES' VASE;
Or, Polite Manual for Young Ladies.
Original and Selected
by
AN AMERICAN LADY
Eighth Edition.
Hartford: H. S. Parsons and Co.
Stereotyped by Richard H. Hobbs. Hartford, Conn.
1849

PREFACE.
So many volumes have already appeared before the public, similar in character to this little work, that it is with feelings of diffidence we bring our humble offering, especially when we consider the rich merit possessed by many of its predecessors. But our apology must be found in the fact that these publications are, from their size, and consequent expense, inaccessible to many of the class whose improvement they are so well adapted to promote. Considering the formation of female character and manners a matter of inestimable importance, especially at the present age, swayed as it is by moral rather than by physical force, we have carefully availed ourselves of the best advice of some of our most judicious writers on female education; and, by presenting our work in a cheaper form than any of this class which is now before the public, hope to render it attainable to all those for whom it is especially designed.
_April 16, 1847._

CONTENTS.
POLITENESS, 7 TRUE AND FALSE POLITENESS, 9 IMPORTANCE OF GOOD MANNERS, 13 SELF-POSSESSION, 16 GOOD COMPANY, 19 FRIENDSHIP, 21 KINDRED HEARTS, 28 CONVERSATION, 30 EXAGGERATION, 34 EGOTISM, 37 GENTLENESS, 44 SISTERLY VIRTUES, 46 HOME, 49 FIRESIDE INFLUENCE, 51 { THE TEETH, 54 PERSONAL APPEARANCE, { THE HAIR, 57 { THE HANDS, 59 DRESS, 61 COMPRESSION OF THE LUNGS, 64 LETTER-WRITING, 68 MUSIC, 71 FLOWERS, 73 TIME, 76 NOVEL-READING, 85 FEMALE ROMANCE, 89 BEHAVIOR TO GENTLEMEN, 95 MARRIAGE, 101 MARRIAGE HYMN, 104 FEMALE INFLUENCE, 105 A DIFFICULT QUESTION, 109 EASILY DECIDED, 121 INFLUENCE OF CHRISTIANITY ON WOMAN, 132 IMPORTANCE OF RELIGION TO WOMAN, 137

LADIES' VASE.
POLITENESS.
Politeness, like every thing else in one's character and conduct, should be based on Christian principle. "Honor all men," says the apostle. This is the spring of good manners; it strikes at the very root of selfishness: it is the principle by which we render to all ranks and ages their due. A respect for your fellow-beings--a reverence for them as God's creatures and our brethren--will inspire that delicate regard for their rights and feelings, of which good manners is the sign.
If you have truth--not the truth of policy, but religious truth--your manners will be sincere. They will have earnestness, simplicity, and frankness--the best qualities of manners. They will be free from assumption, pretense, affectation, flattery, and obsequiousness, which are all incompatible with sincerity. If you have sincerity, you will choose to appear no other, nor better, than you are--to dwell in a true light.
We have often insisted, that the Bible contains the only rules necessary in the study of politeness. Or, in other words, that those who are the real disciples of Christ, cannot fail to be truly polite. Thus, let the young woman who would possess genuine politeness, take her lessons, not in the school of a hollow, heartless world, but in the school of Jesus Christ. I know this counsel may be despised by the gay and fashionable; but it will be much easier to despise it, than to prove it to be incorrect.
"Always think of the good of the whole, rather than of your own individual convenience," says Mrs. Farrar, in her _Young Ladies' Friend_. A most excellent rule; and one to which we solicit your earnest attention. She who is thoroughly imbued with the Gospel spirit, will not fail to do so. It was what our Savior did continually; and I have no doubt that his was the purest specimen of good manners, or genuine politeness, the world has ever witnessed; the politeness of Abraham himself not excepted.

TRUE AND FALSE POLITENESS.
Every thing really valuable is sure to be counterfeited. This applies not only to money, medicine, religion, and virtue, but even to politeness. We see in society the truly polite and the falsely polite; and, although all cannot explain, all can feel the difference. While we respect the one, we despise the other. Men hate to