Sexual Communication | Page 2

even physical
health.
-- Sex in America, 1994
Guides for Good Communication
�Safety!
�Good tone and timing
�No sneak attacks
�Convey acceptance and
encouragement rather than
shame, blame and criticism
�Be direct and specific rather
than vague and global
�Avoid “fill in the blanks”
�Recap facts and feelings
�Check out meanings rather
than make assumptions
�Curious, not furious
�Tell me more about that
�I- vs. You-messages
�DELETE “You always…” and
“You never…”
�One topic at a time

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Guides for Good Sexual Communication
�Acknowledge influence of
family messages
�Acknowledge influence of
cultural myths
�Expectations
�Gender roles
�Acknowledge discomfort /
confront fears
�Surfacing personal secrets
�Being criticized, judged, or
found inadequate
�Hurting others’ feelings
�Acknowledge your ignorance
�Cultivate a shared
vocabulary
�Ask for what you want
�Communicate your
willingness and desire to
communicate
�Use all the channels
Before During After
Yourself
What
you do
Your
partner
..when both people feel good about..
Good sex is ..

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9
Lusty
Sweet and
gentleTender Romantic
Comfortable
Vulgar "the usual way"
Quickie
Hard, hot, and wild SacredKinky
Loving Dominant
Submissive
Innovative
LeatherFresh
fruit
Lace
Our Full Range
Playful
Power tools
Thank you!
Susan Scott Hennings
www.SusanHennings.com
[email protected]
408.566.3061
Jerry L. Talley
www.WellTemperedHeart.com