Sex & Sexual Relationships | Page 2

can be
very special. For a lot of people it’s a
normal part of going out with someone.
If you go out with someone for a long
time you might feel people expect you
to be doing sexual things. But there is
no rule that says you have to make a
relationship sexual and that one thing
has to lead to another. Getting sexual is something that you
should talk about. You need to feel sure
that whatever you do is something you
both want to do. Both boys and girls
(even those who talk about sex a lot)
can feel nervous. Talking things through
often helps.
Beck is a brilliant girlfriend.
We’re always laughing and
talking about everything. She
must know every secret I’ve
got! I think it helps with
our physical relationship...
we’ve been able to talk
about sex and feelings and
all that stuff.

FEELING CURIOUS
You might want to do sexual things like
touching, kissing or masturbating with
someone else because you feel curious
or want to experiment.
Sometimes it just seems like sex is
really scary – you’ll definitely
get pregnant or get a disease –
but everyone is curious and knows
it can be good.
But if you do sexual things with someone
because you want to know what it’s like,
you might regret it or feel bad or upset
afterwards. It can be hard to know what
you want, and sometimes your judgement
might be blurred too, especially if you
are sexually excited or drunk or high.
I did do things when I was
younger for confused reasons.
I remember thinking I wanted to
but really being excited knowing
that I had done it at last.
Now, I think more about my
relationships and don’ t rush, like
tr ying to do one more sexual thing
ever y time we see each other.
FEELING
CURIOUS
7!
THE
PRESSURE
TO GET SEXUAL THE
PRESSURE
TO GET SEXUAL

8
Because you care
You may want to do something because
you want to show someone how much
you feel for them. It can make you feel
very close to share such a private thing
as sexual feelings and experiences with
someone. But part of you may not be
sure you want to do it. You might have
religious or moral beliefs about why you
don’t want to do something.
The main thing is to be able to make up
your own mind about what you feel and
what you do. And to know about the
implications of having sexual relationships
and experiences. For most people this
means
waiting until they are sure of
their feelings and that they have the
respect and trust of the person they
want to have a sexual relationship with.
Most people find relationships like this
rewarding and something that makes
them feel good about themselves.
The best thing about having a
relationship is the feeling special
and like a bond between you.
Relationships – well that’ s when
two people are together, straight,
gay or whatever, and they want to
be and they have like a friendship
but it’ s probably sexual to o.
Because you are in love
Sometimes people say they are in love
to pressure someone into doing things.
You shouldn’t do something you don’t
feel good about just because someone
says they love you. Or that you would
do something if you loved them.
It’s hard to know if you’re
in love. It’s so over used.
People say ‘You’d do it if you
loved me’ and write love at
the end of letters to people
they hardly know. I think
it’s more special than that.
He says he loves me and talks
about when we have children
and live together. Sometimes this
seems really romantic , but mostly
I feel under pressure because I
don’t know what I want yet.

9
IT,
S DIFFICULT
TO
stop
It,
s difficult to stop
You might feel like just letting things
develop but then it can be hard to find
the right time to stop.
He would sort of ask. Not always in
words but by trying to do something
and waiting for me to show if it was
all right. One day he let on he was
nervous when he told me about some
friends asking if we’d done this and
that and saying he wanted to but
didn’t want to upset me by pressuring
me. Then we had a long chat about it.
It can be hard to say what you want.
But it is best to talk to each other before
things develop. Try and be honest and
think about how the other person might
be feeling. If you can talk to each other
it can be emotionally rewarding because
you feel confident that you both care
about each other, and are looking after
each others feelings.
I wanted to tell her that I was
nervous and inexperienced but
thought I was expected to be
the one who tried it on. Then
she would just tell me when it
was too much.
It also means that you have an opportunity
to talk about things you might be worried
about. If you start getting sexual before
talking about the risks of pregnancy or
infections they can be much harder to
bring up later.

10
HAVING SEX HAVING SEX
SEXUAL FEELINGS
Some sexual feelings can’t be seen but
others have physical signs. So when
people are sexually excited things happen
to their bodies.
Being Sexually Excited
The main sign