Press Cuttings

Press Cuttings

The Project Gutenberg EBook of Press Cuttings, by George Bernard
Shaw #35 in our series by George Bernard Shaw
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Title: Press Cuttings
Author: George Bernard Shaw
Release Date: May, 2004 [EBook #5723] [Yes, we are more than one
year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on August 17, 2002]

Edition: 10
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PRESS
CUTTINGS ***

Etext prepared by Eve Sobol, South Bend, Indiana, USA

TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: The edition from which this etext was taken
lacks contractions, so it reads dont for don't and Ill for I'll, for example.
The play has been reproduced exactly as printed.

PRESS CUTTINGS
Bernard Shaw
1913
The forenoon of the first of April, 1911.
General Mitchener is at his writing table in the War Office, opening
letters. On his left is the fireplace, with a fire burning. On his right,
against the opposite wall is a standing desk with an office stool. The
door is in the wall behind him, half way between the table and the desk.
The table is not quite in the middle of the room: it is nearer to the
hearthrug than to the desk. There is a chair at each end of it for persons
having business with the general. There is a telephone on the table.
Long silence.
A VOICE OUTSIDE. Votes for Women!

The General starts convulsively; snatches a revolver from a drawer, and
listens in an agony of apprehension. Nothing happens. He puts the
revolver back, ashamed; wipes his brow; and resumes his work. He is
startled afresh by the entry of an Orderly. This Orderly is an unsoldierly,
slovenly, discontented young man.
MITCHENER. Oh, it's only you. Well?
THE ORDERLY. Another one, sir. Shes chained herself.
MITCHENER. Chained herself? How? To what? Weve taken away the
railings and everything that a chain can be passed through.
THE ORDERLY. We forgot the doorscraper, sir. She laid down on the
flags and got the chain through before she started hollerin. Shes lying
there now; and she says that youve got the key of the padlock in a letter
in a buff envelope, and that you will see her when you open it.
MITCHENER. Shes mad. Have the scraper dug up and let her go home
with it hanging round her neck.
THE ORDERLY. Theres a buff envelope there, sir.
MITCHENER. Youre all afraid of these women (picking the letter up).
It does seem to have a key in it. (He opens the letter, and takes out a
key and a note.) "Dear Mitch"--Well, I'm dashed!
THE ORDERLY. Yes Sir.
MITCHENER. What do you mean by Yes Sir?
THE ORDERLY. Well, you said you was dashed, Sir; and you did look
if youll excuse my saying it, Sir--well, you looked it.
MITCHENER (who has been reading the letter, and is too astonished to
attend to the Orderlys reply). This is a letter from the Prime Minister
asking me to release the woman with this key if she padlocks herself,
and to have her shown up and see her at once.

THE ORDERLY (tremulously). Dont do it, governor.
MITCHENER (angrily). How often have I ordered you not to address
me as governor. Remember that you are a soldier and not a vulgar
civilian. Remember also that when a man enters the army he leaves fear
behind him. Heres the key. Unlock her and show her up.
THE ORDERLY. Me unlock her! I dursent. Lord knows what she'd do
to me.
MITCHENER (pepperily, rising). Obey your orders instantly, Sir, and
dont presume to argue. Even if she kills you, it is your duty to die for
your country. Right about face. March. (The Orderly goes out,
trembling.)
THE VOICE OUTSIDE. Votes for Women! Votes for Women! Votes
for Women!
MITCHENER (mimicking her). Votes for Women! Votes for Women!
Votes for Women! (in his natural voice) Votes for children! Votes for
babies!