Her Own Way | Page 3

party.
MOLES. Yes, and this whole house'd miss your aunt, I can tell you that,
Mr. Philip. [Takes away the plates.] She just keeps things going smooth
with everybody.
PHILIP. I told her I saw you kiss Lizzie on the back stairs, Saturday.
MOLES. What!
[Gives dishes to the FOOTMAN.
LIZZIE. He didn't! He didn't!
PHILIP. Yes, that's what Aunt Georgiana said, but I know better, and
so does she, I guess!
LIZZIE. Isn't he a case!
[MOLES goes out with the FOOTMAN.

PHILIP. Now what?
CHRISTOPHER. Soup!
PHILIP. Ice cream! I want ice cream!
LIZZIE. Sh!
ELAINE. My mamma don't let my brothers behave so at the table.
PHILIP. Neither don't we, 'cept our birthdays.
[MOLES reënters with a tray and plates.
CHRISTOPHER. What is it?
PHILIP. [Screams.] Eeh! Ice cream! It's ice cream!
LIZZIE. Sh!
PHILIP. Go ahead, dish it out!
[Laughs.
[MOLES serves ice cream to ELAINE, then to PHILIP, TOOTS, and
CHRISTOPHER.
CHRISTOPHER. Mr. Dick Coleman is gooder as Cousin Sammy
Coast.
ELAINE. Aunt Georgiana is goodest as him!
CHRISTOPHER. Aunt Georgiana is gooder as mamma!
TOOTS. And most goodest as grandma.
[LIZZIE exchanges a glance with MOLES and goes out Right.
PHILIP. Grandma! Rats!

MOLES. [To PHILIP.] Sh!
PHILIP. [Shouts.] Stop, Chris! He's taking too much ice cream!
ALL THE CHILDREN. Chris! Chris!
[They keep up the clamor, laughing and shouting, till LIZZIE comes
back.
LIZZIE. Children! here comes grandma.
PHILIP. [Disgusted.] Oh, pshaw!
CHRISTOPHER. Don't want grandma.
LIZZIE. Sh!
[MRS. CARLEY comes in from the Right. She is a middle-aged woman,
of faded prettiness and frivolous manner. Every line and bit of
character has been massaged out of her face. There is a sudden,
embarrassed, and gloomy silence on the part of the children.
MRS. CARLEY. Well, children, having a lovely party?
PHILIP. [Grudgingly.] Yes, ma'am!
ELAINE. [Politely.] Yes, ma'am.
CHRISTOPHER. Aunt Georgiana's party!
MRS. CARLEY. Yes, dear, it's too bad mamma is ill in bed. She says
when you are all through, you may come up and say how do you do,
while she kisses Phil. [Silence.] That will be nice, won't it?
PHILIP. [Grudgingly.] Yes, ma'am.
ELAINE. Yes, ma'am.
CHRISTOPHER. Yes, ma'am.

TOOTS. No!
MRS. CARLEY. We are glad you could come in, Elaine, and help
celebrate Philip's birthday.
ELAINE. Thank you, ma'am!
[TOOTS is mashing his ice cream strenuously with a spoon.
MRS. CARLEY. Toots! don't be naughty and don't mash your ice
cream up like that.
TOOTS. I like it.
CHRISTOPHER. Me too--it makes soup!
[Copying TOOTS.
MRS. CARLEY. Your collar's crooked, Chris.
[Arranging it.
CHRISTOPHER. Ouch!
[Squirming.
MRS. CARLEY. Phil, shall grandma cut your cake for you?
PHILIP. No, ma'am, Auntie Georgiana's going to cut it.
MRS. CARLEY. Oh, very well. How's your mamma, Elaine? Is she
going to the big ball to-morrow?
ELAINE. Yes, ma'am.
MRS. CARLEY. We feel dreadfully. Philip's mamma's illness prevents
our going.
ELAINE. Mamma said you weren't invited.

MRS. CARLEY. [Pats PHILIP on the head, to his great disgust and
discomfort.] Your mamma had better mind! Your mamma is mistaken!
Good-by, children, grandma is sorry she can't stay and have a good
time with you. I am going to call, Elaine, on the Countess of Worling,
Mrs. Tom Cooley's daughter. I don't think your mother knows them.
Good-by, dears, enjoy yourselves.
[She goes out Left.
[Silence till the door is well shut behind grandma, and then the
children break out with shouts, all of them, of "Good-by, Grandma.
Good-by," repeated ad lib. Then they calm down.
PHILIP. Bully! Grandma's gone!
CHRISTOPHER. Ice cream!
ALL THE CHILDREN. More ice cream! Ice cream!
PHILIP. Let's see.
[MOLES hands him the ice cream dish.
CHRISTOPHER. [To PHILIP.] Can I have some more, or will it make
me sick?
PHILIP. [Serves the children.] No, there's plenty. When there isn't
enough, mamma always says it will make us sick.
CHRISTOPHER. And papa--when we have company unexpected, and
there isn't enough of anything, papa always says F.H.B.
PHILIP. F.H.B.
ELAINE. Why?
CHRISTOPHER. He says it means Family Hold Back, and we all have
to say "No, thank you," when it comes around! Do you like grandma,
Phil?

PHILIP. Naw! Grandma's no good.
[MOLES goes out with the empty ice cream dish.
TOOTS. No good, grandma!
[A knock outside the door Left.
GEORGIANA. [Outside.] Hello! Hello!
PHILIP. [Delighted.] Aunt Georgiana!
ALL THE CHILDREN. Aunt Georgiana!
GEORGIANA. [Outside.] Is this a private room at Sherry's, or may an
old maid aunt come in?
ALL. No! Yes! Come in--come on in!
[They clatter on the table with their spoons, and shout "Hurrah! Aunt
Georgiana!" as GEORGIANA enters. She is a beautiful creature,
about thirty, and in the very height of health and spirits--an American
Beauty rose the moment before it opens. She is flushed after her quick
walk in the bracing, sunshiny winter's day. No wonder the
children--and