David DeAngelo - Double Your Dating - Attraction Isnt a Choice Summary

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“Attraction Isn’t A Choice”
The Psychology Of Men, Women, And Attraction
By David DeAngelo
©2002, All Rights Reserved.

The Bad Guy Notice:
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Now that we're finished with the bad guy notice, let's learn about
how to be successful with women...

Attraction Isn’t A Choice
The Psychology Of Men, Women, And Attraction
I want to tell you the interesting story of how I came to realize that
"Attraction Isn't A Choice", and how to use this concept to dramatically
improve your success with women.
I can remember when I used to believe that being a "nice guy" was
the way to make a woman like you, and that if you were "nice" and
she didn't like you, that it was probably just because she didn't think
you were handsome enough, rich enough, or whatever... and that
there was nothing I was going to do about it.
I mean, doesn't it make sense that a woman should be attracted to
a guy who treats her well, is attentive, is sensitive to her feelings,
gives her what she wants, buys her gifts, etc.?
Of course it does. It makes LOGICAL sense.
But when I really started to pay close attention to what was
happening in the REAL WORLD, I started to notice a few things:
1) Women would tend to break up with me, play hard to get, and
generally not be happy and satisfied when I treated them "overly
2) My "nice" friends weren't the ones who were attracting all the
women... it was my "bad boy" friends that seemed to be getting all the
attention from the girls.
3) The most popular male "sex symbols" tended to be guys who were
mean, fighting, abusive "bad guy" types.
About four years ago, when I first decided that it was time to
"figure out" this part of my life, I started by reading and learning as
many "popular techniques" and ideas as I could.
I tried just about every system to "meet women" that has been
created. You name it, I tried it.

But no matter what I tried, there always seemed to be something
missing from the puzzle. Sometimes the ideas worked, but for the
most part it was VERY hit and miss.
Then, one day I was talking to a new friend that I had met about
how to meet women. I was telling him about some of the new
techniques I was trying like handwriting analysis and palmistry...
All he could do was look at me with a kind of half confused smile on
his face.
As it turned out, this new friend of mine led me to a realization that
was a key to understanding the idea of "attraction."
As he listened to me talk, he would always try to explain to me that
women aren't attracted to "nice" guys who “kiss their asses” and do
“nice” things for them. He explained that his method of attracting
women involved being arrogant and funny, and leading the woman in
the direction he wanted her to go. He even talked about being kind of
rude at times, which really confused me.
As I started to put the pieces of the puzzle together, I began to
realize that:
1) Attraction isn't a process that happens by "choice." In other words,
a woman doesn't start talking to a man and say to herself "wow, this
guy seems very smart and funny... just the type of guy that I've been
looking for... I think I'll feel attracted to him." This has evolved to my
phrase "Attraction Isn't A Choice."
2) Attraction happens at an unconscious level as an automatic
EMOTIONAL response to certain cues. For men attraction usually
happens in response to a beautiful face and a nice body. For women it
usually happens for other reasons (although it can and does happen on
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